Word of the Week: Gossip

According to Dictionary.com, gossip is defined as idle talk especially about the  affairs of others.

Let’s break this definition down, starting with idle talk. The adjective idle means of no real worth or importance. Next we look at the word affair, which means a private or personal concern.

Now that we all understand what gossip is, let’s take a step back and look at it. Most women have an issue with gossiping. In fact this study from 2011, says that women spend at least five hours every day gossiping. Yes, these numbers are harsh, but evaluate your conversations that you have.

Gossip ruins relationships. Unfortunately, there have been several times that I have not controlled my mouth and lost a friend because of it.

Gossip destroys self-image. Whether you are the person gossiping or the focus of the gossip, it fills you with disgust. Hateful words are like a stain that is difficult to clean out. You have to scrub it out, wash it off, and repeat until it is all gone.

God warns us about our tongues. Our words are the most powerful tool we have. We can use it to lift others up or tear them down.

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”

Ephesians 4:29

As Christians, we should remember that we are all God’s children. Every person no matter their actions, appearance, or personality are a creation of God. When you gossip about the Lord’s creation, you are telling the Creator of the Universe that His work is not good and unworthy.

We can stop the problem. Once you stand up for someone, others will begin to do the same for others. Not only will your relationships with your friends be stronger, but your group can be an example for others. A snowball effect will create an atmosphere of love and trust.

Another way to stop the gossip is to pray. Nothing is more powerful than God’s help.

“Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.”

Psalm 141:3

My challenge for you this week is to be the catalyst of change. Stop the gossip. Do not just let the awful conversation and tearing down of others continue. You can be a positive driving force and a light to others

 

Word of the Week: Joy

When you think of your stressful college schedule, probably one of the last words that comes to mind is joy. Honestly, I hate to break it to ya, but college is one of the busiest times in your life. It can be mentally and physically exhausting. For some students, they spend four years of their life in constant worry and anxiety. Personally, I know too many people like this.

And you know what kills me? It really doesn’t have to be like that.

One thing that has helped me grow as a person between my freshman and sophomore year is having JOY.

This semester I’m taking 21 hours and working two jobs. I’m also involved in a sorority with a demanding schedule. At the beginning of the summer, I was thinking that this semester was going to be super stressful, and I was dreading the thought of it.

I told myself everything would get better if I could just make it through it. However, when having a conversation with a close friend over the summer and expressing the future frustration I was going to have, they told me something that changed me outlook entirely. They said, “I know you’re going to be so busy this next semester. But don’t focus on the busyness. Focus on all of the positive experiences will come this semester. Try to enjoy everything you’re doing, even amongst the busyness, because if you don’t, you’re going to miss a lot.”

At first that kind of stung a little, because I felt like I was being called out, and then I realized they were right. So, I’ve approached this semester completely different than I had originally planned. Instead of stressing about all of the assignments I have due, I’ve chosen to focus on the relationships all around me. Growing the ones I already have, and cultivating the potential ones that are all around me.

Even though I’m significantly busier this year than I was last year, I’ve been able to enjoy this year much more than last year. Simply because I’m daily choosing joy. I’ve learned to manage my time in a way where I can accomplish all of my academics, but still make time for myself.

 

The truth is, JOY is a choice. It’s not circumstantial, it’s a daily mindset that we either choose to reject or embrace. My challenge to you is to EMBRACE joy. Stop focusing on all of the little things that won’t matter a week from now.

Focus on the relationships and people around you. Make memories with them that will smile about years from now. Go to lunch with someone you’ve wanted to get to know better. Grab coffee with a girlfriend you need to catch up with. Schedule some time for yourself.

Make the daily choice. Choose joy, and watch how it transforms the way you live your life.

Much love,

Katie

Word of the Week: Comparison

Beauty. Intelligence. Spirituality.

These are the main areas of my life that I have found that I compare to others. When I compare my attributes to others, it makes me feel insecure and unhappy.

“Better call Becky with the good hair.” The infamous lyrics from Beyonce’s song,”Sorry,” were rooted from comparison. Even pop culture’s most outwardly confident woman, struggles with comparing herself to other women. See how psychotherapist Vicki Tidwell Pamer elaborates on how we all have our own “Becky” in this Huffington Post article.

As Christian young women we need to ponder what does Christ say about comparison? My favorite verse  when feeling unconfident is 1 Samuel 16:7.

“… The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

Christ solely desires your heart and soul. He loves every part of you, but He craves for your heart to be consumed by Him. Once your heart is given to Him, the areas of your life that you feel unconfident in suddenly disappear. Yes, it is easier to say than to do, but here are techniques you can use so that your focus is transformed to Christ and not your insecurities

Praying

Whenever I feel unconfident, I give it all to God. Praying allows you to free your mind. I continually pray that God will give me the confidence to not only stop comparing myself but also give me the confidence that I can carry out His plan for my life.

Encouraging

We are all in this together as women. Encouraging one another to be our own unique, strong person  will make the world a better place. Joy is found in the happiness of others. You never know when a fellow sister in Christ is struggling, and your words just might be what they need to feel better. 

Journaling

Being completely vulnerable with yourself relieves stress, but also documents the growth of your spiritual journey. Knowing where you started is key to the process of becoming more confident as a young woman of Christ.

Growing confident in yourself will not happen overnight. You will have good and bad days, no matter how confident you are feeling in your skin. Life has a crazy way of doing that to us, but if you continue to practice on praying, encouraging, and journaling, your life and other women’s lives will be changed.

With love,

Kayleigh